The Art of Kissing

[All sources from Google Images]

I was sharescan-ing a while ago.

And I happened to come across this pdf document in someone’s shared folder.

It’s called…

The Art of Kissing

by

Hugh Morris

Actually I’m NOT even a wee bit interested in that ebook.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not abnormal. I do love some stuff.

But since I’ve got nothing to talk about today, so I thought might as well cut and paste some excerpts from that book for those who are interested to know about the magic moment.

KISS.

WHY PEOPLE KISS

What happens when a man and a woman kiss?

That is to say, what happens to the various parts of the body when two people in love join their lips in bliss?

Years ago, before our biologists knew of the existence of the glands in our bodies, one writer quoted a scientist as saying that "Kissing is pleasant because the teeth, jawbones and lips are full of nerves, and when the lips meet, an electric current is generated."

[I don’t understand. My biology sucks. Or was that physics? Babies are the result of kisses? Just acting dumb. Otherwise guys feel inferior.]

What nonsense! What utter nonsense!

HOW TO KISS GIRLS WITH DIFFERENT SIZES OF MOUTHS

[What the eff?!]

Where the girl's mouth is of the tiny, rosebud type, then one need not worry about what to do.

However, there are many girls whose lips are broad and generous.

[Generous?! In donating saliva?]

The technique in kissing such lips is different.

If you were to allow your lips remain centered, then there would be wide expanses of lips, untouched and, therefore, wasted.

[Wasted?! omfg!]

In such cases, instead of remaining adhered to the center of the lips, the dude should lift up his lips a trifle and begin to travel around the girl's lips, stopping a number of times to drop a firm kiss in passing. When you have made a complete round of the lips, return immediately to the center bud and feast there.

Then, sip the honey.

[Phew. Or was that exchanging bacterias?]

THE FRENCH "SOUL" KISS

Don't stop at this.

Surely, there is more to your tongue than merely its tip.

Probe further.

Go deeper.

[Uh uh aa aa...]

Gently caress each other's tongues.

In doing this, you are merging your souls.

[Huh?! That’s too deep. Little Sarah doesn’t understand. Haha.]

Kisses cost nothing. So kiss on.

THE VACUUM KISS

Here you start off by first opening your mouth a trifle just after you have been resting peacefully with closed lips.

Indicate to your partner, by brushing her teeth with the tip of your tongue, that you wish for her to do likewise.

The moment she responds, instead of caressing her mouth, suck inward as though you were trying to draw out the innards of an orange.

[Speechless]

THE "PAIN" KISS

To begin, there are some people who derive an extreme pleasure out of being whipped or burned or beaten.

There is no rational explanation for this strange, delight. The fact remains that they react pleasurably to pain.

These people are called masochists.

The "pain kiss" is simply a tiny bite, a love nip.

THE "NIP" KISS

Naturally, in the "nip-kiss" the kisser is not supposed to open his mouth like the maw of a lion and then sink his fangs into the delicate-flesh of the kissee.

Ridiculous!

The procedure is the same as the ordinary kiss except that, instead of closing your lips with the kiss, you leave them slightly open and, as though you were going to nibble on a delicious tidbit, take a playful nip into either the nape of the neck, the cheek or the lips.

And the resultant pleasure, I assure you, will more than compensate for the slight inconvenience of pain.

[I refers to the author. NOT Sarah Y]

I don't think I'll need that book.

Anyways, I'm going for a little shopping trip now.

Have a nice kiss!

Ciao.