Just a Book

I think the best gift is something that you couldn't just get it off the shelf.
Like, uh, compiling all these entries into a book? Hardcover.

I'll be yours for a night if I were to receive it.
But Cinderella's glass shoes will turned into pumpkins when the clock struck 12.

And if you are a girl, I'm safe.
Besides MK, I don't think there is any other girl who would like to rape me.

And if you are a homo, I'm so gonna make you straight.
That's the last thing I would like to do before I die. Besides finding my Gräfenberg spot.

[p/s: I'm so gonna be killed.]